یہ مسائل ِ تصوف ، یہ قیام ِ پنج گانہ
جو سمجھ سکے وہ سمجھے اسے فرضِ عاشقانہ
دل ہے مضطرب اور اشرف یہ وجود قید خانہ
اس قفس میں آگہی کو یہ تڑپتا ہے روزانہ
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یہ مسائل ِ تصوف ، یہ قیام ِ پنج گانہ
جو سمجھ سکے وہ سمجھے اسے فرضِ عاشقانہ
دل ہے مضطرب اور اشرف یہ وجود قید خانہ
اس قفس میں آگہی کو یہ تڑپتا ہے روزانہ
Fixing meter
Yeh masa il e tasaw wuf yeh qayaam punj gana
Had e yaqeen ko ponh chay mera farz e ashqana
Mera dil hay muz ta rib, yeh wojood qaid khana
kya Kurb e aagahee hay, yeh tadap rahay shabana
Thanks for your comment. But it is not fixing of meter. Every line of the Qata’a is perfect within “Bahr-i Muzari-Ariz” based on the meter:
“Mustef-ilun faulun Mustef-ilun faulun”
Even your expression is based on this meter and is perfect, but you have changed my mystical thought of body as a prison of the soul or heart and mind. In your Qata’a the last line “kya Kurb e aagahee hay” is in fact an explanation of the “Mera dil hay muztrib” not a further flight or quest beyond the prison of the body. Overall I like your approach within your own conext.
Beautiful nazm with profound spiritual musing. Technically however, it is not a ghazal, as each verse is not a separate thought but a link in a chain of one thought process
Thanks for appreciating. It is not a Ghazal and the headline clearly says as “Qata’a” which is usually based on four ‘Misra’ or two ‘Sher.’ It is also known as ‘Rubaii.’